Your boy Muff has a problem, no one wants to work for NewYorkDrunks. I have tried to hire writer types, but they want too much money. I tried to hire drunks, but they are too busy drinking. I tried to have my Boston writers write, but what the fuck do they know about New York. So for the summer of 2013, we are putting the site into “Limbo”
But this fall, Muff will be scouting talent from the entire Empire State to come and work for us. Thanks for checking out the site and see you this fall.
Your boy Muff loves to get his fat ass on the giant video board at every sporting event I go to. I shake my ass from side to side. I jump around with my belly hanging out. I have dance moves that make the chicks in my section wet. But after watching this video maybe I am going to have to change my sporting ways. Next time I will just grab the chick next to me and fucking dry hump her face until no becomes yes.
Forget about not getting a seat during rush hour or helping shitty tourists, the Taser Sword has arrived! Why the fuck you would need two of these is stupid. You have a sword and a taser, all in one, why double that up?
This kid is a fucking genius! I see right through his feel good scam. He had no interview, this is classic Empire Records shit all the way. You tell the guy at the place where you want to work at that you have to do some amazing shit to get the worst job in the world and boom, sorry sad ass hires you right away. This kid has probably filled out an application at least 3 times at the sad sacks restaurant and never got hired. make up some shitty story about walking 10 miles in the snow and you’re on a fast track to upper management. This is America baby, no one is walking 10 miles in the snow, that is why we have snow, it is a built in excuse for missing shit.
Shit I had a writer from Buffalo tell me that he could not blog last week cause of the snow, mother fucker does that shit at home with a laptop! I cut him some slack for having the balls to really tell me that. He is America, Walking 10 miles scam kid is America! Where is my Don King waving American flags picture?
One day you’re trying to become the most powerful man in the world, then next you’re buying breakfast cereal at a fucking CVS. But I will call a fake a fake for many reasons:
- Mitt Romney has never even seen the inside of a CVS, why would he?
- Christmas decorations on top of the shelf? Yet Mitt is in shorts.
- Shampoo aisle? Mitt has a team to keep his hair silky smooth.
- Even Mitt Romney could not afford to buy two boxes of Cheerios at a CVS.
Pure awesomeness is all I can say about the my little soup Nazi. Ah the magic of YouTube is in full effect for this video.
We all know politicians are douchebags, but this senator takes it to dumbass level.
Dude’s gotta change his Twitter background. He should also consider changing his name so he won’t be forever known as Senator Rape Trap.
Although I already have way too many teas in my house, I could be a little more English and sexy if I had these guys.
Who would YOU like to see taking a dip in your tea?